Did You Name Him After the Movie?


Up until 2012, nobody ever asked me if I named my dog after a movie. When I adopted Frank back in 2008, people looked at me like I was a pervert when I said what his name was. Ever since then, I just call him Frank for short.

I waited for months on a waiting list at the Humane Society for a schnauzer. At the time, Rob said I could adopt a dog. I had been depressed and needed a little being of some sort. So, I decided on a schnauzer. I didn’t really care what size; I know I just wanted one. Then finally one day the Humane Society called me and told me to come right away because schnauzers go really fast.

So, I went to meet Frank. I was uncertain at first and so was he. He was heavily sedated and fresh out of surgery. He was first named Frankenstein because the Humane Society had to stitch him up. He was found after a dog fight and he was in really bad shape. He was probably at deaths door when they stitched him up. He still had stitches on his head when I met him.

To add to the story, Frank was micro chipped. He did have an owner. The Humane Society called the owner. The owner did not return the phone calls. Sometimes I am left wondering what is original name was. Did the last owner have kids? How did Frank end up getting into a nasty fight? Sometimes, I get these answers. He will escape if there is an opening in the fence. He is passive and hides under my feet at mom’s house. He adores children and plays with them. Children love him to death. Everyone loves Frank. Frank is the best dog ever and I’m happy that I got him.

I decided to adopt him. Being a Tim Burton fan, I changed his name to Frankenweenie. We went to get some supplies and I brought him home. Things were awkward enough with a new friend, things became more awkward with existing friends. These friends were not really friends after all, they turned out to be a piece of crap.

I told Liz about the new dog. She had just moved back in for the umpteenth time. I guess Rob didn’t want her to have a dog because the dog from the previous room mate tore up a room. Next thing I know, Rob was screaming at me via text.


Me: No you didn’t. You said I could have a dog.

Rob: THAT WAS WHEN NOBODY ELSE WAS LIVING THERE (Gee, he told me while another room mate, Matt, was right there.) IT’S MY HOUSE!!! IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, LEAVE!!!!!

I decided to make a plan B. I went through plenty of trouble to get Frank. He knew I was waiting for a dog. I dropped Frank off at mother’s house. Without telling Rob, I began looking for an apartment. I painted the room that I lived in for the past three years and packed my belongings. Rob worked in another state and was gone during the last week of the month. On the last day of the month, when he was expecting rent, I moved out. I bailed on that motherfucker. Matt was there that day and didn’t realize it until I was bringing my bed outside. He was the one to notify Rob about me moving.

I stayed at my mother’s for a little bit. A couple of apartments charged an extra fee for dogs. Jefferson West Apartments was the last apartment I lived at in Boise. They charged less and I loved living there. Alas, they did not call me back.

For the amount it cost for a one bedroom next to work, I could get a house and it would be mine. I wouldn’t have to worry about someone kicking me out. I wouldn’t have to worry about people telling me how I can and can’t live. I wouldn’t have to worry about people complaining about Frank’s high pitch howling because there is nothing anyone can do.

So, I went shopping for a house. This was just as bad as shopping for an apartment. Banks wanted $4,000 up front. Real estate agents were not talking to me. The only agent who worked with me lived in Canyon County. I found her through some employee discount program at DirecTV.

Ultimately, I ended up in Nampa. I preferred Boise or Meridian. Nampa doesn’t have anything available. You have to go to Boise for work and to pay bills. You have to go to Caldwell for the taxes on the house and jury duty.

Frank and I settled down in Nampa. Life went on. A friend of Rob began speaking to me and told me that I screwed Rob over. So what? You don’t change your mind at the last minute and get verbally abusive about it. End of story.

In 2012, the remake of Frankenweenie was released. I found it strange that people knew nothing of the original from 1984, which was also directed by Tim Burton. The 1984 version is on the special edition of The Nightmare before Christmas.

I find it more amusing when someone asks me the name of my dog. I can now say Frankenweenie without being looked at like a pervert. People now ask me, “Did you name him after the movie?” I ask, “Which one?” I get a new look of confusion, which I prefer. The person then asks, “There was another??”


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