The Trouble With Magazines

     I love magazines. Everyone loves magazines. What I don’t like are products being shoved down my throat when I do not want it.

     I begin imagining the episode of Star Trek about tribbles. They made an episode about them in the original Star Trek and Star Trek Next Generation. It is one of the funniest episodes for each one. Instead of tribbles, they are magazines.

     Magazines piled up to the ceiling. Magazines falling out of the cupboards and refrigerator. Up to your ears in magazines. Many dead trees if you don’t own a Kindle.

     Yes, it is that time of year where companies everywhere are saying the same thing upon each sale. “You are qualified to try any one or three of these marvelous magazines!”

     You are not even in the system that you already took advantage of this offer. I can go shopping at Hastings every day and they would offer me magazines. Last year, I went shopping at Ulta for the first time and subscribed to Glamour and Allure. Both excellent magazines, but it is overwhelming because you get a fat magazine every single month.

     If you want to cancel them, it is a pain. I could easily cancel Glamour. This was a first for me. You know when you are calling to forward your address? People are selling you five different magazines. When you try to cancel them, they try to sell you more.

     This year, I was offered three different magazines at Hastings. I did not get any information to call and cancel if I need to. My magazines ended up in someone else’s hands. She took the plastic wrap off and made it impossible to find a number to call and cancel. I retrieved the magazines. I was supposed to get Rolling Stone, Cosmopolitan, and Entertainment Weekly.

     When I called Cosmopolitan to see if they sent me a magazine, they could not locate me in their system. I called Hastings, they could not look up the information. They gave me the phone number for the magazine subscription line.

     When I called, I got a nasty attitude and pushy sales person. I was asking him if he could see if anything has been sent. He interrupted me with a short sigh, “What exactly can I help you with?” I quickly responded, “Cancel the subscriptions.”

     His panic settled in and he started to tell me that I do not have to cancel until May. I told him I am not able to enjoy the magazines because they are being stolen. He made a snarky remark about the situation then he proceeded to try to sell additional magazines. Nope, cancel it. He tried to offer me free gifts, no don’t need them!

     I dislike the part of the year when stores are shoving magazines down your throat. It’s hard to keep track of them. It’s difficult to cancel. I would prefer that they did not offer magazines. If I want one, I will send in a postcard for the subscription.


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